


All Things Considered

by Colorfullyminded



Category: Over the Garden Wall (Cartoon & Comics)
Genre: ...Will I finally be nice to Jason Funderberker?, ...nah, ...okay..., Being a bully to this nerd is fun, But also in a loving way, But then I'm going back to picking on him, But then make ups, Come getcha Juice, Followed by Fluff, I am tired, I want apple juice and a cookie, I'll be nice, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Angst, My dumbass humor sprinkled in as well, Oh and the poem I wrote, Original Poetry - Freeform, Other then the cursing this doesn't feel very Teen rated, Please tell this boy this is not how you show affection, Poetry, Putting this under General Audiences even with the swearing, Sara is done with this idiot, There's literally 2 shits said, Wirt is a tsundere, Wirt is romantically constipated, Wirtiberker, and 1 fuck used, break ups, but in a loving way, cursing, happy holidays, he gets to have some kisses, honestly I need to stop being mean to him, jason is a good boy, just this once, the rest is "hell"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:34:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28298334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Colorfullyminded/pseuds/Colorfullyminded
Summary: Wirt knows he’s not the perfect boyfriend.He knows when it comes to the other boy, he tends to lose his patience-- to snap quicker with him, then any of their other friends. Wirt knows he’s built up this idea about his boyfriend-- this mindset-- that he hasn’t quite shaken.But I mean, despite the awkward start, Wirt is feeling pretty good about their relationship-- all things considered--“I... I think we should break up…”...Huh?
Relationships: Jason Funderberker/Wirt
Kudos: 14





	All Things Considered

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Glitchgaze](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glitchgaze/gifts).



Wirt knows he’s not the perfect boyfriend.

He knows when it comes to the other boy, he tends to lose his patience-- to snap quicker with him, then any of their other friends. Wirt knows he’s built up this idea about his boyfriend-- this mindset-- that he hasn’t quite shaken.

_“Hey Wirt, do you want sprinkles on your ice cream?”_

_“Do I want sprinkles on my ice cream-- no, I want spiders-- Yes, of course I want sprinkles, Jason Funderberker!”_

_“Ohh... okay.”_

Really, it was a surprise to everyone-- including himself, when Jason asked him to be his boyfriend.

He remembers the nervous look on the young teen’s face, when he asked him; the way he pressed his hands to his burning cheeks and stuttered out the confession. The way he awkwardly waited for Wirt to pick his fallen jaw off the floor-- softly patting those burning cheeks. Sara stood next to Wirt, a mix between pride for Jason’s bravery, and elation at the unexpected revelation.

Wirt stared, and stared, and stared. 

And Jason patted his cheeks, waiting. _Pat. Pat. Pat._

_“Hey Wirt, would you like to come over to my house after school? I rented some movies-- I thought we could make some popcorn, and watch them together… maybe even… cuddle?”_

_“Hmmmm, sure, why not? I got nothing else to do.”_

_“...”_

It was a bigger surprise to everyone-- including **himself** \-- when he said yes.

_“Hey Wirt, do you want to like… Mhmm... hold hands?”_

_“...Why would I want to do that?”_

_“Oh... well, I thought… you know, because that’s what couples do--”_

_“It’s like 83_ _°, Jason Funderberker. Our hands are going to get sticky if we hold them.”_

_“Ohhh, y-yeah. You’re… you’re right.”_

_“Come on Funderberker, be a little more sensible.”_

Dating Jason Funderberker has been odd. It’s a different experience, one he isn’t quite used to. It isn’t bad-- just different. 

He spent so much of his freshman year intimidated by the shorter boy. I mean, he was the total package-- _is the total package?_...uhm, well, okay! --Anyway! 

...So now to be the one _dating_ said total package. That’s… well, okay, Wirt is still a little unsure how he managed that. 

And like, once they started dating, Wirt realized they shared a lot of the same hobbies. They both like cheesy 80s movies-- typically in the musical, or sci-fi variety-- and both have an appreciation for classic literature-- though Jason Funderberker prefers the gothic literature, and while Wirt _says_ he enjoys gothic literature, he, in fact, is actually hopelessly smitten with 19th century romance. But that’s something he’s going to take to the grave. Only a select few know this embarrassing secret of his, and one of them just so happens to be--

_“Awww, you’re just a hopeless romantic underneath. How cute. Wirt, you’re adorable!”_

_“BITE ME, JASON FUNDERBERKER!”_

They go to the movies, they get lunch around town, go bowling with friends-- typical couple stuff. It’s... nice. It’s normal teen stuff-- stuff Wirt isn’t quite accustomed too. Sometimes he feels like he’s a 50 year old man trapped inside a 16 year old’s body. Very old school... very crotchety. Just very out of place and time.

So getting to do things he’s supposed to do-- to act the age he’s supposed to be. _It’s nice._

The longer the two go out, the quicker Wirt begins to realize, through their little interactions, that Jason isn’t as intimidating as he thought. Or, well... he still is, but it’s less of a jealousy thing now, and more of a...

Wirt struggles to show affection the way Jason constantly-- so easily-- showers Wirt with. It’s hard. Jason makes it look so effortless, and he-- he will spend nights upon nights writing, and rewriting, and re-rewriting a poem to describe the guy-- only to toss it in the trash with all the hundreds of other uncompleted drafts. A trash overflowing with crumpled notes, because he can’t find the perfect words to describe his skittish heart. 

He wants to show Jason that he cares. In fact, for all the mishaps and blunders, he thinks he’s doing pretty alright. He doesn’t tense too badly when Jason wraps his arm around Wirt’s wasit, or locks their arms together-- he’s able to walk a little ways like that. He doesn’t completely melt into a puddle when Jason leans up to press a kiss to Wirt’s already burning cheeks-- making them one degree away from exploding. He sometimes can even hold Jason’s hand-- you know… if the weather dictates… and there aren’t many people... and Wirt is sure he’s not going to soak Jason’s hand with his nervous perspiring. So it’s not often-- but it happens! That’s progress! He’s very progressive!

Kissing is... _kissing is another story..._ \--but he’s working up to it! Slowly-- just, okay, give him a second to swallow his heart back into its proper place! He can’t even write his boyfriend a poem, allow him some leeway before he presses his lips to Jason Funderberker’s. He wants to at least be a little more romantic-- a little more assured in his own confidence-- before he sets the mood. 

He’s a Jane Austin Protagonist, living in a modern day romcom.

_Kissing... oh jeez~!_

But I mean, despite the awkward start, Wirt is feeling pretty good about the relationship-- all things considered-- 

“I... I think we should break up…”

_...Huh?_

Wirt blinks. He closes his locker, and turns to stare at his boyfriend. They’ve just finished band practice, and he’s putting his things away, when Jason Funderberker drops that line right into his unsuspecting arms. 

“I uhm… I just meant? Mmm, are you really happy with me?” Jason nervously shuffles from foot to foot, his mouth trying to form a kind smile; he looks like he’s constipated.

“Uhm… what? What are you talking about? Of course I’m happy.” Wirt’s eyebrows furrow, his lips curling downwards. 

Jason winces, “Are you sure?” He doesn’t seem at all convinced.

“...Yes? I-- I’m sorry-- you, wait… you? You want to break up?” Wirt is trying to put the pieces together to fix this puzzle. Because… _what the hell? Seriously? What the hell is happening?_

One moment Jason is walking him to Wirt’s locker, and now he’s wanting to break up? That… that doesn’t make any sense.

True, Jason seemed oddly quiet during the walk; usually he fills the silence with his endless chatter about this and that-- what happened in class, the new movies coming out, the games he wants to buy on steam, or better yet, the new high score he wants to beat at the arcade-- with Wirt occasionally throwing in some form of acknowledgement that he’s listening, but Wirt didn’t think his subdued silence was at all because he wanted to break up.

Jason flits nervously with a lock of hair, his eyes skirting to the floor, and back to Wirt-- it’s almost reminiscent of his confession. Except there’s no blushing cheeks, and his awkward smile is less hopeful-- more rueful, and Wirt’s stomach is churning unpleasantly as the minutes tick by. As Jason’s words sink in. 

“I just… Wirt, you don’t seem like you want to be with me. Every time I try and be cute, or do something flirty, you just seem very unimpressed.”

Wirt rolls his eyes, “I do not--”

“Right there!” Jason huffs, and Wirt is surprised to hear the slight raise in the man’s voice; an almost edge to his tone. The look on Jason’s face, it’s not one Wirt is used to seeing-- and it hurts to see it. Wirt doesn’t like the frustrated look in Jason’s eyes. “You just rolled your eyes at me! See what I mean? You don’t even notice you’re doing it.”

Wirt looks down at his own mismatched sneakers, scuffing the toe on the linoleum flooring, “I… I mean… I don’t…” 

“You never wanna hold hands, you make this face when I kiss your cheek, you snap at me for every little thing I ask of you-- you just seem very unhappy. Like you’d rather be anywhere else, with anyone besides me. And I, I don’t want to make you unhappy.”

“You don’t make me unhappy Funderberker--”

“--It’s Jason.”

Wirt lifts his head, eyes widening, “Whu?”

“Just Jason. Not Funderberker. Not Jason Funderberker. _Jason_. When have you ever just called me Jason?”

Wirt blinks, his heart sinking like a stone to the pit of his stomach. He… he doesn’t even have an excuse. He tries to think of when he’s called Jason Funderberker by his first name... and _only_ his first name. And the results are not in his favor.

Jason sighs. He sounds forlorn. “It would be one thing, if you told me you didn’t like to be touched-- I would totally understand if you’re not that kind of person; if you’re not into that sort of affection. But if it’s Sara, or Rhondi, or anyone else; you never seem to have any issue when they’re close to you, when one of our mutual friend’s touches you. But with me-- you’re always-- it’s like you can’t stand being near me, and that-- that... well, it’s not an amazing feeling. I’m supposed to be your boyfriend, but often I feel like I’m just a nuisance. Like you’re dating me because you pitied me. You don’t want to be here, you’re just humoring me. And _that... well, that just doesn’t feel great either._ ”

He looks back at Wirt, and tries to offer the taller teen a smile. Tries to seem reassuring, despite both of them lacking that level of confidence. “Maybe it wasn’t for you… but, this was fun. For the short time we had together, I really enjoyed myself. I had fun.” He reaches up and rests his hand on Wirt’s shoulder, squeezing gently. The touch sends a spark of electricity through Wirt’s whole body. His fear mounts when he realizes he can’t tell if the feeling is entirely good or bad. He… he should have a clear idea what his boyfriend-- ex-boyfriend’s?-- touch does for him. 

Right now, he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know what he should be feeling. He doesn’t know anything. 

“I really like you Wirt, but that’s okay. It’s okay that you don’t like me in the same way. Thanks for giving me a shot anyway, I was happy that you gave me a chance. I really wasn’t expecting that-- so like, don’t worry, okay? Let’s just go back to being friends... if... if you still want to be friends? If you don’t-- uhm-- well that’s okay too. What I’m saying is-- thank you for trying. We gave it a shot, but it just wasn’t meant to be-- we-- I guess somewhere deep down, I knew we couldn’t keep this up forever.” 

Jason looks at his hand on Wirt’s shoulder-- and as if realizing his mistake, quickly pulls his hand away. “S-sorry! I-- uhm. Sorry. Right, you don’t like me touching you, do you? You, you always get a little stiff when I touch you... I guess that should have been my first clue, huh? That I was kidding myself-- Hehehe, my bad!” His smile fades, and he starts shuffling from shoe to shoe, increasingly more uncomfortable. He coughs into his fist, and swishes his hands back and forth. It’s like he doesn’t know what to do with his hands, with his feet-- with any of himself. “Sorry I’m such a touchy person-- even right now, when I’m sure it’s the worst time to touch you. I’m sorry for always making you uncomfortable. I-- I-- uhm.” He sniffles. 

Wirt’s eyes widen, his mouth falling open. But nothing comes out-- he can’t think of what to say. He can’t even apologize, or dispute, or snap at Jason Funderberker. He’s just... staring. Hopelessly staring.

Wiping his nose on the sleeve of his coat, Jason points behind him, “I’m... I’m gonna go... okay? I uhm-- Sorry. And uhm. Thank you. Uhm-- okay. Bye, Wirt.”

He starts backing up, still not sure what to do. He keeps looking at Wirt, his expressions fighting for control on his face. _Worry, sorrow, yearning, reassurance_ \-- it’s all just fighting to stay on. 

All Wirt can do is stare. ...And stare. And stare. _And stare._

As Jason Funderberker backs away, slowly. _Step. Step. Step._

Until he’s rounded the corner, and he’s gone. 

And Wirt’s alone. Processing.

Jason Funderberker dumped him. _Jason Funderberker dumped him._

_...Huh?!_

* * *

Wirt runs rings in his carpet, as he paces about his bedroom. His eyes are red rimmed; his hair is sticking up in odd angles, because he’s been constantly gripping it. Sara sits on his bed, watching him pace. Her expression is a mix between sympathetic, and completely exasperated.

“I can’t believe he broke up with me? Like? What the hell? What the hell, Sara? He just broke up with me-- out of nowhere!”

Sara hissed through her teeth, but seemed unwilling to comment.

So Wirt kept going, “I mean like-- I know I wasn’t a perfect boyfriend. I know I wasn’t like, bringing him roses everyday, or serenading him outside his window, or sweeping him off his feet into a beautiful sunset, or anything that extravagant-- but like, I was-- I was doing a pretty good job. I was doing my best.”

Sara winced, sucking more air through her teeth.

Wirt narrowed his eyes. “Your reactions are anything but subtle Sara.”

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just--” She trails off.

“Just what?” Wirt challenges.

Sara glances at him, her eyes filled with pity, before her gaze falls to her lap. “Wirt, if I may… I’m sure in your heart of hearts you really, _truly_ were doing the best you could…”

“...But…” Wirt prompts her to continue.

Sara lifts her eyes again, and now the look is more disapproving, “Wirt, your best was really, _really_ , terrible.”

Wirt tenses, his cheeks turning a deep maroon; he’s practically blending in with his sweater. “What? Terrible?”

Sara presses her hand to her cheek, her mouth falling open in shock, “Wirt, honey. You seriously didn’t realize?”

Wirt shakes his head, and when she winces, he wants to sink into the floor-- into the upside down-- and disappear forever. A death by DDmD monster sounds more preferable than the realization that he’s actually an awful, shitty boyfriend.

He slaps his hands over his face, hoping to hide his shame. “Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

“We didn’t feel like we had a right? It was what Jason wanted, and you said yes-- we weren’t going to get in the way of your relationship. But as the relationship went on, we began to worry a little. You just seemed very unhappy-- like someone was forcing you. We knew that you weren’t doing this to mess with him; you’re not that kind of guy, Wirt. But we were beginning to wonder...why you were with Jason, when you didn’t seem to like him..."

Wirt lowers his hands until his mouth is uncovered. His cheeks are still red; he gazes at the desk filled with littered papers--reminders. “But...I… I did like him. I liked him, Sara...I--” He inhales deeply, before releasing a pitiful sigh, “ _I still like him_ …”

Sara raises an eyebrow, disbelieving, “Really? Cause when he held your hand, you looked like you wanted to reel back and punch him.” 

“I was embarrassed! --I was _shy!_ ”

“That’s you being SHY??”

“Sara!!!” Wirt sputters, covering his face again. He doesn’t deserve to be called out like this. Except, clearly he does. He needs to hear this; he needs to be awoken from his deluded fantasy.

Sara points at his face, even though the taller man can’t see her doing so. “See, now that’s what I’d consider embarrassed. That’s the shy Wirt I’m used to seeing! The hiding behind his hands, and burning red to the tips of his ears!”

“Augh!” Wirt screams, once more wishing someone would take him out. Painfully, preferably; so he doesn’t have to think about how awkward he feels in this very moment-- because he’ll be too busy thinking about the excruciating torture he’s under. 

But no one comes to distract him from his mental anguish; he’s left to stew in it. 

“...so you really liked him?” Sara finally asks, to be certain.

Wirt swallows, his lips pulling into a thin line. Slowly, he nods.

Sara leans back against the bed, taking a moment to just study her close friend. Now that it’s just them, she can see all the things he doesn’t show-- the things he wouldn’t show, if Jason had been with them. The soft, more adorable sides of himself. The sides that, as he claimed, were too embarrassed to show. Seeing this side of him-- this nervous, flustered side of him-- she feels herself smiling with hope.

“So if you still like him, why don’t you tell him that?”

“Are you kidding? Tell him what? _Sorry I was such an asshole, sorry I can’t like you properly, sorry I wasted your time? But let’s try again, so I can act like I hate you for another couple months until we eventually break up a second time, because I can’t distinguish my feelings-- can’t properly convey the words that I wish I could?_ Yeah Sara, because I’m pretty sure he wants to go through that again. Hell, I don’t know if I want to go through that a second time. I’m exhausted-- relationships are exhausting!” He slumps, arms hanging weakly at his sides. 

Sara listens closely, catching on one specific line. “Well, what do you mean you can’t convey the words properly? Why can’t you? What’s wrong with saying, ‘I like you, but I’m really shy around you, and it comes across cold, but I promise you it’s not.’”

... _Oh sure, she makes it sound so easy when she says it._

“Because thinking it and saying it are two entirely different things. My head might think those words-- but that doesn’t mean those are the words that are going to come out when I open my mouth. That’s-- that’s why I was trying to write them down. So that I could convey them the way I want them to be. The way I need them to be.”

_The way Jason deserves them to be._

“You wrote something?” Sara grins; unlike Wirt’s growing pessimism, this new little tidbit only builds her optimism.

Wirt points to the desk littered with papers, to the trash can that is spilling over with crumpled, rejected first drafts. “I was attempting something, but nothing I wrote ever seemed to work. Nothing seemed to be right. And just as I was finally getting something-- maybe even starting to like the inklings of one of them-- that’s when Jason Funder-- _Jason_ \-- that’s when he dumped me.”

Sara bounces in her seat, stuffing her hands in her letterman jacket’s pockets. “Ohhh, read it to me!”

Wirt shakes his head. “No way! It’s… it’s unfinished. It’s not good-- hell looking it over, it’s just as bad as the rest. Besides, it doesn’t even matter; I’m just going to throw it away.” As he said it, he made towards his desk like he was going to do just that. “We’re...he broke up with me. There’s no point in dwelling. Best to just throw it all away, and pretend this never happened. Best to just move on from all this-- it… _he’s right_ , this was probably for the best.”

Sara stops him. “Wait, Wirt! Don’t!”

Wirt picks up the paper, starting to crumple it between sweaty fingers. Shaky hands.

“Come on Wirt! What have you got to lose by sharing it with me? You know I like your poetry. You know I would never judge you. Besides-- maybe… maybe this is your best chance, _your last chance_? You could never give this to Jason, right? You’d be too embarrassed, too afraid to share-- worried that it’s not perfect?”

Wirt glances at her, then slowly nods.

“But I’m not Jason, so it doesn’t matter if I read this, right? There’s no expectations, or things to reconsider; even if it doesn’t feel up to your standards, there’s no harm in sharing. It just seems a waste, to throw something away, without at least reading it aloud. Have you read it since you last wrote it?”

Wirt shakes his head. Honestly, the idea of reading it, now that it’s pointless, makes his eyes burn with unshed tears. 

“You couldn’t tell Jason how you feel. But you should get it off your chest one time, before you have to throw it away. Before you let this all go, why not share what’s in your heart? If...if he was here, if you could tell him-- if you could convey the words you wanted to say… what would you say?”

_What would he say?_

Timidly, Wirt unfolds the paper, staring down at the scribbled mess that is his rambling confession. 

He takes a deep breath.

He exhales...and starts to read.

**Hear Me Out--It’s a Sound I haven’t Found.**

**_“It’s a thump thump thump,_ **

**_The pounding? Can you hear it?_ **

**_It goes a ba rump rump rump,_ **

**_The pounding of a rabbit’s heart._ **

**_It skips skips skips,_ **

**_Over laces; untied, two colored treds,_ **

**_It’s a trip trip trip,_ **

**_Stumbling through life at a pace he can’t meet._ **

**_And it jumps jumps jumps,_ **

**_Up in the throat it gets stuck,_ **

**_Where it starts to bump bump bump,_ **

**_His heart is just stuck!_ **

**_And tap tap tap,_ **

**_From shoe to shoe he shuffles his weight left to right,_ **

**_This little rap rap rap,_ **

**_His knuckles on your door he can’t bring himself to knock._ **

**_It’s an in and out, in and out, in and out_ **

**_Breathing deep, fingers curled; trying to find his voice,_ **

**_He’s dying to shout shout shout,_ **

**_But you look his way and all his words run dry._ **

**_A cry cry cry,_ **

**_His cheeks burn bright,_ **

**_And he tries tries tries,_ **

**_But fails to take the hand that you offer him._ **

**_Strum strum strum,_ **

**_He scribbles line for line the frustrations he can’t convey,_ **

**_Dumb Dumb Dumb!_ **

**_He wishes love wasn’t so-- not love-- more like liking-- that liking you wasn’t so--_ **

**_Can you hear it?_ **

**_Thump Thump Thump,_ **

**_It doesn’t beat so loud,_ **

**_Ba rump rump rump!_ **

**_Are you listening?_ **

**********_Tap Tap Tap_ **

**_It’s trying-- I promise_ **

**_Rap Rap Rap_ **

**_It’s a sound I’m unfamiliar,_ **

**_A sound...sound...sound…_ **

**_It’s a song that I haven’t quite…_ **

**_Found, Found, Found.”_ **

The poem stops there. Wirt stops, and looks up, cautious.

But Sara is grinning from ear to ear-- a good sign. She presses her hands together, clasping them close to her lips. “Wirt...I think you should share this with him.” 

Wirt swallows. “What? You...really?”

Sara nods, “Wirt, if you show him this poem...if you give him this-- I think he’ll understand. It’s not too late.”

_Not too late? Is that possible? But they broke up-- how can it not be too late?! This very much feels like it’s too late!_

But Sara’s smiling so encouragingly, that Wirt starts to feel this tug...this almost… spark of hope? 

She seems to really know what she’s talking about-- and Wirt has always thought Sara to be very wise and considerate in everything she does. 

“You...really think if I give him this...if I show him this-- it will fix everything?”

Now Sara’s smile falls into an expression of pondering. After a moment, she shrugs. “Well, perhaps it might not fix everything--”

That smidgen of hope is quickly crushed.

“--but,” she adds, and Wirt lifts his head to listen. “But… I think, if you really care about him, like you say you do, then I believe that this will do the trick. And despite him dumping you, I think Jason still cares deeply about you-- a lot more than you might think. I think, if you both care about each other… if you give him this poem, I think it would work out rather fine for you two. I think… I think you shouldn’t toss this poem. _It’s not ready to be thrown away._ ”

Wirt’s eyes widen.

He stuffs the paper in his pocket. _He knows what he has to do_. “I have to go. Uhm, I’m-- sorry! You… Do you mind if we hang out another time? I have-- I have something I need to--”

Sara stands up, already expecting their conversation to be cut short. “Say no more. Go get him, _Lover Boy_ ,” She throws in that last jab for humor’s sake, but it doesn’t sting quite so bad.

In fact, he can’t help the small smile of his own. “Thanks, Sara.”

* * *

Wirt steps into the arcade. His hearing is nearly blown out by the boops and beeps of the machine's volume set too high, and the squealing and yelling of children running around, unsupervised. Wirt plugs his ears for a minute and grimaces. Everything’s a little too bright, and everything smells a little too much like orange soda, and dried vomit.

_Seriously, this is where Jason Funderberker likes to spend his afternoons--_

_...Hey Wirt?_

_Yeah?_

_Why don’t you shut the hell up, and stop being a dick? This is what got you in trouble in the first place._

_...ah…_

Wirt turns red at his own thoughts scolding him. He’s right though-- he really does need to get off his high freakin’ horse, considering if this place were a little quieter, a little more organized, and was cleaned a little more regularly, he’d probably enjoy coming here as well. He loves old arcade cabinets; he’s gotten good at games like Pavements of Pain, Dragon’s Dungeon, and Konga King. And as for the other games in the arcade, well he’s not too shabby at Skee Ball, his height makes him perfect for hoops...and there was his obsession with a certain Rhythm Dance game...a game that he will not be thinking too heavily about. _Yep, in fact, moving on_. Basically the point is-- he’d like coming here a lot, and he needs to just accept that he’s being pretentious right now, because he’s intimidated about facing his ex again. About having to talk to Jason Funderberker about his...feelings.

_Ugh, he wants to go home._

He doesn’t do that. He shakes the self doubt away, and instead, scours the crowd, trying to find-- **Ah-hah!**

Tucked in the corner, playing Fatal Finalist-- _a surprising choice, he wouldn’t have expected the boy to be playing that_ \-- Wirt sees Jason Funderberkere’s brown mop of hair. 

Wringing his hands together, Wirt steels his nerves. _Deep breaths Wirt. Deep Breaths._

_1…_ He takes a step forward.

_2…_ He takes another step.

_3…_ He’s right behind Jason.

_...4…_ He taps the teen on the shoulder.

When Jason turns, Wirt doesn’t know what he expects. Maybe confusion, maybe frustration, maybe disappointment; maybe he’d cringe at the sight of Wirt. Of all the expressions he anticipated-- Jason flushing a deep red; Jason breaking into a lopsided and stupidly cheerful smile, was the last expression Wirt considered.

“H-hi, Wirt,” Jason rubs the back of his neck, shuffling nervously from foot to foot. He certainly doesn’t look like a man crushed after a break up. Wirt can’t tell if that bodes well for him-- or if he’s about to throw himself into utter heartbreak and humiliation. Wirt glances at the glowing red exit sign, a moment of hesitation; one last chance to retreat. Wirt forces his eyes back to Jason, sealing his fate. 

Behind him, Wirt can hear Jason’s character getting the snot kicked out of him. 

“Listen...Jason Fu--- Uhm! J-Jason. I-- look this is really hard, and I bet you’re wondering why I’m here. T-this is going to be really hard to explain-- but I wrote it all down, and-- and there’s something I need to tell you. It’s important that I tell you this! So like, this is going to be embarrassing for the both of us-- probably more me than you because I’m putting my whole heart and soul on the line… though I guess you were doing that long before, so maybe it was more you than me…-- but I need you to listen! Because...because if I don’t say it now, I’m never going to be able to say it-- so I just! Even if you hate me, even if you never forgive me or want me back, it’s imperative that I read-- well, I. Okay, listen, I wrote you this poem and I wanted to read it, and it might not make any sense and--”

“--It’s okay Wirt. I already know about the poem.”

Wirt freezes, a deer in headlights.

From behind Jason, he hears the words, “Finish Him.”

“...I think Sara butt dialed me. And uhm...well...I kind of heard everything.

_"...Everything?”_

_“Everything.”_

**FATALITY!**

Wirt swallows. Oh...well that… that both complicates, and simplifies things. “I see. So then… I guess I don’t need to read my poem aloud again, and embarrass myself a second time.”

“It wasn’t embarrassing. It was sweet.” Jason stuffs his hands in his pockets, shrugging.

Wirt instinctively rolls his eyes, “Yeah of course you would think that Jason Funderberker.” And then, “Shit! Sorry! No--I didn’t mean--”

And Jason laughs pleasantly, before stepping forward, pressing his lips to Wirt’s. Wirt’s eyes widen, his stuttering, rambling words cut short.

When he pulls away, he’s still smiling pleasantly, while Wirt gapes like a fish out of water, “I didn’t realize you felt that way about me. It was kind of nice to know you don’t hate me.”

“Y-you...you kissed me?” Wirt stutters.

Jason cocks his head to the side, his eyebrows knitted in soft concern. “Sorry...was that too forward? Was that too much for you?”

Wirt tries to respond, but closes his mouth at the last second. He opens it again...and then closes it once more.

When Wirt doesn’t respond with immediate displeasure, Jason’s eyebrows unknit, his smile growing more confident, “So I guess… you didn’t hate it?”

Wirt’s cheeks are turning darker and darker.

Jason tongue pokes out between his teeth. “You like me. You really like me, don’t you?”

Wirt’s eyebrows furrow, his mouth twisting in that typical scowl reserved only for the perfect package that is: “Shut the hell up, Jason Funderberker--

Jason freezes.

“... _and kiss me,_ ” Wirt finished, placing his hands on Jason’s waist, pulling the smaller boy closer. Before he can think too hard, before he can let nerves take over, and make him regret his life decisions, he leans down, pressing his lips back to the other man’s.

When they pull away again, Jason is laughing, one hand covering his mouth in a poor attempt to conceal it. His cheeks are starting to match Wirt’s in color and ferocity. “Oh man-- I can’t believe how cute you are. Wow, I didn’t think it was real; I didn’t think I’d actually be dating a tsundere.”

Wirt bristles. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He doesn’t know what a tsundere is, but he has a feeling the moment he finds out, he isn’t going to be happy.

Jason shakes his head. “I’ll… I’ll show you some other time.”

“You better,” Wirt warns, desperate to find out in what way his boyfriend is insulting him.

_...boyfriend_.

Wirt’s hands tighten around Jason’s waist, “So uhm... are we still… Does this mean? I mean--”

Jason opens his eyes, regarding Wirt patiently. He moves his hand from his face to rest against Wirt’s arms, encouraging him with a squeeze to his bicep.

“Can we try again? Can we… can we start over? I-- I’d like a second chance. I know, I know I’m hard to deal with. I know it’s not going to be easy, and I might not react the way you want me to. I’m asking for a lot of patience, I realize. But I-- I want you to...I just...want you. I do...like you, Jason. I want to…” He takes a deep breath, “Can we go out again? _Will you go out with me, Jason Funderberker?_ ”

Jason hums quietly in thought, still squeezing Wirt’s bicep; Wirt isn’t sure why-- it’s not like there’s anything to squeeze. But Jason seems content with Wirt’s stick arms. Finally, he replies, “If you promise to give me the poem you wrote about me, and you spend the rest of the afternoon playing games at the arcade with me, then yes. Yes I would be happy to go out with you again.”

The relief he feels at hearing those words. Inside Wirt feels like he could soar-- take off like a rocket into space. _He did it_ . Somehow, just like Sara said-- or perhaps because of her meddling-- _yeah, he was really questioning the whole accidentally butt dialing Jason right as Wirt was spilling out his guts about said guy--_ everything was turning out fine. Just like she promised. They-- him and Jason-- they’re going to be alright. 

On the outside, Wirt smirks, eyes flashing competitively. “I’m going to destroy you in Fatal Finalist. There will be no mercy.”

Jason giggles, nasally, and Wirt’s stomach flutters with butterflies.

Nervous. Uncertain. _Shy._

But instead of shrieking away, Wirt chases those butterflies.

And he allows himself another kiss. 

Fuck it-- He think he’s earned it, all things considered. 

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Belated Birthday Sasha/ Merry Early Christmas.
> 
> Sorry this took a such a long time. I had a lot of fun writing this. This is a pairing I don't often write about, but I think it's very cute. And it was really fun to write such an interesting dynamic that I don't usually get to. Getting to write Wirt in a different, but still very fun and believable way made me smile. 
> 
> My favorite trope is Wirt giving Jason Funderberker a hard time, even after they've become friends/ Wirt no longer sees him as competition. Jason Funderberker is still considered the "total package" and Wirt is intimidated. We also know Wirt is full of sass and petty indignation-- so sadly, even when Jason is just trying to be a genuine sweetheart, Wirt's going to bite his head off for it, and just be a rude little shit. Again, I should feel bad, but it's one of my favorite tropes to write. Pry it from my cold dead hands.
> 
> So what do you do when you're also dating said Total Package? Answer: Panic. 
> 
> Wirt can't handle all these feelings. He's really bad at them when it comes to Jason. 
> 
> Honestly, Wirt would be just a tsudere and I kind of love/hate it. Like that's just their dynamic-- that's their relationship. Wirt is a flustered and awkward boyfriend who acts more like he hates Jason, when in fact he's again... _intimidated._ He loves him, he swears...he's just uhm....listen okay!
> 
> Anyway, I hope this is what you wanted! You said you wanted some angst in the beginning but with a Happy Ending, using the phrase "We Can't Keep this Up Forever." I hope I was able to provide the angst/fluff you needed. And I hope this makes your holidays extra warm and fuzzy. 
> 
> And now. Now I'm going to take a long nap **(and when I wake up, I'll reread and edit any grammar mistakes I made. Right now I just want it up and posted. So apologies if you notice a few problems here and there, I promise I'll be back to fix them)**.


End file.
